"What is there to say about a man who never had much to say himself? My Papa was never a man of many words and the greatest lesson he taught me never involved him saying a word. It did not matter what day of the week, what time of the day, my mood, or how he felt, he was as consistent as anyone that I have ever known. I knew that when I walked through their door he would say, 'Hey Hannah,' and when he would go to bed he would stand up out of his chair, walk through the living room and say, 'Goodnight y'all,' making his way down the hall to his bedroom.
He was always going to side with my brother and I against Granny, especially when it involved putting Barbies on the ceiling fan and seeing how far we could make them fly when we turned the fan on high. This wasn't my Granny's favorite thing we loved to do but she tolerated us for the most part.
My Papa was one of the most consistent people in my life. He was able to show his love for those around him without saying a word. He would look at my Granny is she was being ridiculous. But it was never a condescending shaking of the head. It was always a, 'Good gracious, I love that woman,' shaking of the head. One that if I ever see in those around me, I instantly think of my Papa.
There is much to be said about a life that leaves the kind of impact that my Papa's did. It wasn't until I was a little older that I understood that my Papa wasn't my mother's biological father and my biological grandfather. When all of it started coming together I realized that there was something special about a man who could love a daughter and her children so well that I grew up never knowing a constantly forgetting that he wasn't biologically related to us. As far as I am concerned, he is my grandfather. There is no step or question about it. He helped raise my brother and I and he completely changed my Granny and my mother's life for the better.
People are drawn to consistency and people were drawn to my Papa. It was my favorite place to be when I was a little girl. The man let me do whatever I wanted, played whatever games I wanted, and nothing that my Granny had to say about it mattered. He taught me how to jump rope by tying a jumprope to the chair across the room so he could sit in his chair and swing the rope at the same time. He also taught me how to answer the phone and say, 'Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it,' or 'Joe's Pool Hall, 8 ball speaking.' He taught me that when digging a hole to China I would know I was there because all the men would have long pigtails. And he warned me several times to look out for the fish this his big toe in his mouth when I was at the lake.
So I think I have found the answer to my question. What do you say about a man who never had much to say himself? You say this: love isn't about fancy words or anything that could ever be said. My Papa was the perfect example that the truest and best love doesn't have to be said out loud, it is shown through actions and consistency. Because of my Papa, I can love a little better, a little sweeter, because I experienced his love for my Granny and our entire family. I will miss him very very much and I will never ever forget his role and impact on my life. How could I? They say that people will forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel. And my Papa's love for me and our family was shown by him in a way that will never allow me to forget him.
I'll see him again one day when everything about us will be made perfect. There will be no cancer, no heartbreak, and no tears. But until then, I will remember one of the most consistent men in my life not by anything he ever said to me, but by the way that he made me feel."
