expectant.

My word for 2015. I've never had a word before and I think that might explain why this year and my first "word" is what it is. 

I've never really looked at the New Year as a time to start over or a chance to change and do things differently. Sure, I set goals but I have never been much of a resolution person. Maybe that's why the idea of a word was so attractive to me. 

2014 was a year where I wanted a lot of things to happen. Many of the things I wanted to happen did, in fact, happen. But there are things that didn't and I was left desperately wanting things to be different than they were. 

2014 brought many blessings into my life. One of them, and possibly the most life changing was my small group. A group of about 10 ladies, a variety of ages, and a love developed for each other like nothing I have ever seen. What I have shared and continue to share with those ladies is so special, so genuine, and most importantly, so God-centered. 

So, from that experience and from learning and doing life with them comes my word: expectant. 

Through a study we did about Gideon, I have learned that God will always meet you where you are- in the winepress (where Gideon was), in the daily grind, in the monotonous, and in the moments where it really doesn't seem or feel like He will. 

Through my dear friends, I have learned that God is faithful. Week after week we do life together and share stories of God showing up and how the Lord is changing and shaping each heart. In 6 short months, my group of friends has shared extreme joy and extreme heartbreak- both resulting in the glory being given to the Lord and an understood that the Lord works for our good and His glory (by the way, that is not a truth easily grasped in the storm, one that you must constantly cling to with the help of community). There have been so many laughs, probably more tears, and many times where the laughing has led to tears. Aside from a few close friends, I have never experienced friendship and community like this.

I came to the word expectant at the end of our Gideon study. We were sharing what we got most out of the study and the word just kept popping into my head. Gideon taught me that the Lord will meet me exactly where I am and that He can use me exactly where I am. And week after week I get to see the Lord be faithful in my friends' life and in my own. Based on those things, how could I NOT be expectant? 

I realized that my posture towards the Lord matters just as much as the fact that He promises to meet me. Because He keeps His promises, I can be expectant. I can expect Him to love, provide, fill me with joy, and give me His absolute best. Because the Lord promises to meet me where I am and promises to use me, and because He is faithful and keeps His promises, I can be expectant. 

An expectant heart changes everything. 

So here's to 2015 and expecting it to be the best year yet.